Testimony of an ex-adept at the time of congressional International on the destructive Sects, in Barcelona, in April 1993.
Hello, I am called XXXX. I am 32 years old. I am unmarried, lawyer and loaded of direction (School XXXX). I belonged during 5 years to the group of the neo-catéchuménal Path founds, there are about thirty years, here, in Spain. It is a group that becomes implanted in the parishes and evolve, forming some communities. Me. I began to 26 years. There are now one year and half that I left it.
I belong to a comfortable family. Until my adherence, my life was perfectly normal, with rather of good results. I had prepared a mastery, I had never known neither problems nor Important crises. I had a good work... what I felt, it is that I led a life a little empty, emptiness of sense and that I wanted to make something. When, a friend of childhood described me the Path and tells to me that his/her/its brother was going to go in a group of catechism of the parish, I was some to want to give a sense to my life. I had even considered going at Midsummer's Day of God (a hospital of Barcelona) to make assistant's work. I had a certain concern of the lack of sense to my life. Then, I began to participate in these catéchèses of the parish with the vicars of the parish... Finally, in a first time, I didn't suspect anything, I don't live anything abnormal, nor in the ambiance either. she/it pleased me enough. They didn't ask me for any import duty, nor nothing in this style. I liked the catechists who were couples. They pleased me for strength that they developed and because they gave the sensation then that, leaning on God, all was easier in life, life became easier and to the least cost. with the support that the catechists had God. He/it appeared me very well to search for, me also, this support, this strength searched for in God.
I integrated; in the beginning, I didn't go there regularly but; then, I went there more assiduously, But the first thing that I noticed, was a detachment opposite my setting, of my family, of my mother (nearest are always those that it is necessary to reject in first).
I began to judge all my setting, I saw all pain. I began to discuss on all. I had the impression that the one that was right that was I. The other were always wrong. " You judge everybody with a certain contempt, you begin to more power to support it. You don't support your setting anymore. It is thus! "Progressively, I advanced on 1st Path, this completely structured path that includes successive landings (votes"),
To the first" vote ", at the end of two years, I was integrated well; They preached to return in your life to the primitive Christianity - until there it is very well! - and then they apply you 1a parabola of the rich of the gospel that says! "Detach you of all your goods, come and am I! " It was 1a first parabola that they told us. Did it give me some impressive doubts in the beginning, what provoked a downfall of all my interior diagrams and, what occurred in me? a very big sadness; I remembered the day where my sister got married, we were at the church for his/her/its marriage and me, I could not speak! It is the sensation that I had. Then, at that moment, this sensation turns around so that you speak every time more with those of your own community to see if it is not a madness that you are going to make and them, are going to justify it to you because, of their part, they justify themselves of what they made themselves. Is it like a gearing? They tell to you that it cannot be communicated to people of the outside because they would not understand etc...
The second landing follows of one year the first. Me, already, I had unhooked. I1 arrived one moment where my life complicated itself because I didn't communicate with my setting and all it turned around against me. I1 arrives one moment where your life complicates itself in such a way that you think: "Apply the parabola that one gave to you, detach you! "Me, I stripped myself of a necklace. They tell to you: "Detach you, quit while taking some risks! " I asked my mother for a necklace that she/it had offered me to my communion and tell to him that it was to detach me and to give it to the poor people, because we gave it to the poor people in a first time, but more thereafter. It was my first confrontation. To the house, they told to me that it was necessary that I search for an apartment because we could not get along and that if I continued thus I should make independent. Then me, as I had a work, two weeks after, I was making my suitcases. It coincided with the second landing of the community that was the" diagram ", one year after the first" vote ".
In this" diagram ", when they tell to you that you are elected. they apply 1a parabola of the salt of the earth. If this parabola of salt loses its effect and doesn't bring you anything: "if you abandon the group, you condemn yourself, you are a wreckage etc.. ", this is how you, you are going to take refuge more and more in the group because the things complicate themselves. In spite of all, you take refuge. At the end of one year of this" diagram ", there is another "vote" that obliges you to tell your Cross, your life, what happened with the abandonment, what were the changes in your life. Me, personally, when I left to live outside of the house, in the beginning, it was a total liberation; of more to have the whole family on the back I was happy but at the end of a certain time, you begin to feel you only, but it is not the solitude because you cut with your family, cut with all your friends, cut with all. your world, actually, you meet alone because you don't know anymore where to push you. Then, what is the unique support? the one of people with which you evolve. You are going to lean every time more on your own community and you are going to participate every time more.
Outside of the problems that it provoked me, what is curious is that I was absolutely convinced that it was the attitude that I had to have, that it was where I had to be... Everything that you arrive, the complications of 1a life, it is the proof that it is God who sends them to you and you are going to interpret it thus. And you, you will be each time a few more integrated and surer than you are in the truth. In view of this, don't enter in dialogue, don't take the liberty to enter in dialogue because like all others are wrong, why discuss with them?
After nearly five years, I had passed my second "vote" and I only made my life with those of my community. The only thing that I kept, it was my work because I lived independent and evidently, it was necessary that I assume myself. My sister also, spent a period of his/her/its life with them and finally, it is his/her/its husband and my mother who succeeded to 1a in leaving. She/it invited me one day to eat at home, She/it, for me, was not as negative with regard to the group since she/it had spent a period at home. I went to eat at home. It was one Saturday TO noon and the afternoon arrived two people of A.I.S * (in the beginning, I didn't know more that they were) and so began the conversations.
* A.I.S 1 Assessorament i Informacio temperate sects - Barcelona
Me, evidently, I wanted to leave from there. They persuaded me to speak, to speak... In principle, me I thought: "Speak! these people, that they do explain to me? " I kill myself because I didn't have anything to answer their demand, my answers didn't have any logic. They saw that I could not answer that for which they asked me and then I opted to say nothing about me. " How! no one has to ask me questions on my life! " It began at noon Saturday and lasted until the evening, the whole whole Sunday until eight hours of in the evening. At eight o'clock of in the evening, I had a quick reaction: I live that all it, actually, was not true, that what I had thought during all this time being the truth was not... What opened me the eyes? Above all, they told to me: "If it is a religion. you should have your person's improvement ", and me it is true, as no one, I had not improved. He/it is obvious than over there, all this one justified it to you but after one moment I thought: "Really., how is this religion where you you don't improve and where it is of udders-in-udder, no little by little, but by landings? " There is also the fact that it had cost to me so much, my world, my friends, my setting, what made me say,: "How this isolation is himself he/it produces? If the religion is, all on the contrary, a closeness with the other, and that you, in exchange, you you are isolated in this manner and that you let all your friends, your setting, all, that you you are faced to your family in this manner? " It is that that my made the more react. How this isolation, to remain alone with the community, the confrontation with the family, the abandonment of my friends, how had I been able in to arrive there!
Finally, I realized it Sunday evening. I remained at my sister where we were. Monday, arrived three or four members of my community, because they knew where I was, and they asked me. Tuesday, we went with my mother on the Valley of Aran and that day there were sixteen calls at my sister asking where I was and, at the end of two days, sat down before my mother's house three or four people to see if I left or no. In spite of you, at that moment, one doesn't notice it but there is an important pressure. To the return of the Valley of Aran I let my apartment because he/it was situated next to the parish. One of people had the key. I could not return over there because they would have handed me in the ambiance.
I went to live at my mother and as we had faced ourselves, it was I'horreur. The first months, it went really badly. We spoke a lot, yes! and I began the therapy at A.I.S. We spoke of all and nothing. One clarified the ideas. You are going to elaborate new diagram of your life, because they destroyed you your previous diagrams. As were me very only because it is necessary to destroy the diagrams that you constructed in the community but you, you are not restored again in the society. You are if disorientated, you are so outside of the context, in a world to part, that is something special, sadness, solitude, you have difficulty communicating. In exchange, at the end of one, two or three months - I had luck to have the family and very available A.I.S - I can begin to leave, because during the previous months, I could not leave with people because I could not follow a conversation. I was so in my problem... At Christmas, I could go to ski some days with friends that I had had luck to keep outside of the community (in the community no one kept relations practically with people of the outside). And there, I began a normal life. I realized that to 31 years, what I wanted in life was to get married me, to train a family, and then I began to leave because I wanted to know other people. Then, those that told you in the community: "God will return it to you to the hundredfold! " I didn't grow them. I met a boy, I get married in three months and I am very happy. Now, I sometimes think" What change in my life since one year and some, of 180 °. Then, I now, want to thank my family and the team of A.I.S. And I thank them.